5 Ways To Get The Most Of Your Holidays

gosababa.comThe holidays have arrived and with it, lots of celebrations! For some this is the most magical, wonderful time of year, and for others it is full of anxiety.   Dreaded obligations to turn up and talk with people – people they may not know well, feel comfortable talking to, or even know at all.   We have all been to a party/gathering like that – butterflies in the belly wondering how you will ever meet anyone, or how you are going to make an impression on your boss with the short, valuable face time, or the anxiety of what kind of impression you will make on your new in-laws?

Regardless of your social situation, here are 5 simple ways to get the most of your holidays so you can successfully connect with others and totally enjoy yourself this holiday season.

1. BE CURIOUS:  The easiest way to engage and connect with someone is by being curious.  And the easiest way to be curious is to ask an open question: “How do you know (____)?”  “What do you do at  (_____)?”  “What do you think of  (______)?”  “Tell me more about (______)”.   People love to tell their stories and open questions are a perfect way to find out what their story is.   Be genuinely curious.  What new and interesting things can you uncover about this person?

*Open questions are questions that begin with who, what, where, when, and how.  Tell me more is also a great way to get the dialogue started.

2. LISTEN: I know, I know, we talk about it all the time, and there is a reason!  It’s really THAT important when engaging others.  Plus, we have learned that people really struggle with doing it well.  Take the time to truly listen by giving the speaker your full attention.  Body language is a huge part of listening. Notice how you are standing – are your arms closed off in front of you or open by your side?  Are you making eye contact or looking over their shoulder wondering who the next person is that will walk into the room?   What’s your face doing?  Is it relaxed or tense?  Notice the same cues in the speaker.  This is part of listening.   People love to be heard, and people love people who take the time to hear them!  It is hard to be curious and ask questions when you aren’t listening to the speaker.  Notice how much you can learn from a person in a short time just by listening, and how that affects your relationships.

3.  QUIET THE CHATTER IN YOUR HEAD:  In order to really listen to someone we need to quiet the chatter in our heads so we can actually HEAR what they have to say.  Often we find ourselves thinking about and listening to our own head chatter.  This can be about a judgment we are making, the next point we want to make, the next food we want to eat, the next drink we want to have or the next person we want to speak to, all while NOT listening to the person who is speaking to us.  And it is noticeable! Turn off your head chatter at the door and give yourself permission to enjoy the moment when you are in it.  Respect the speaker by engaging in the conversation with uninterrupted listening.

4.  WATCH YOUR INTERRUPTIONS:  The most disrespectful thing you can do is to interrupt someone.  It messages that what you have to say is more important than what they have to say – not the best way to start or build upon a relationship.  Think for a minute what it’s like for you when someone interrupts you?  How does it feel? Many have said that they interrupt because they are worried they will forget what they are going to say, or a point they need to make.  What would it be like to enter a conversation where there isn’t a wrong or right, where the conversation and discussion can be open to all perspectives respectfully?  If you have something to say, by all means it is important to say it.  However, wait until the speaker is done before raising your point or concern while being open to hearing their response.

5. BE IN THE MOMENT:  When you are in the moment, not worried or thinking about what’s already happened or what’s to come, you will find it much easier to do all of the above.  When in any social situation let go of any preconceived notions of what to expect or what people may or may not be like.  Be open and in the moment taking it all in, allowing you to listen, be curious, and ask questions without interrupting.  Try focusing on the person who is speaking to you and let it be about them.   So much of our pre-social anxiety can come with the thought of it being about us!  What am I going to say?   What if I am not funny?  What if I don’t come across as smart?  Let go of that anxiety and let the focus be on the speaker.  Be present to enjoy the moment and enjoy your holiday experience.

**YOUR HOLIDAY BONUS: Download your FREE guided meditation (1o minutes).  Get instant access to  why seriously successful people credit meditation as the secret to their success.   Stay grounded, focused, and in the moment for a stress free and enjoyable holiday.

Don’t believe us.. check out the Daily Habit Of These Outrageously Successful People

Bet you want instant access now..

3 Massive Mistakes Most Professional Women Make

Have you ever met a professional woman who regretted becoming a BETTER leader?

Ya.. neither have we!;)

You and I both know there are thousands of reasons to become a better leader

So why not take the plunge with us?

We have made leadership our business, which means supporting leaders to be BETTER with REAL tools in REAL time to get very big RESULTS.

We have set up a special free teleclass for you entitled:

“3 Massive Mistakes Most Professional Women Make”

You can join us by following this link

Even if you can’t make the call, sign up anyway as you will get access to a recording of the teleclass

This teleclass will make a HUGE difference by leapfrogging you forward to becoming a BETTER leader.  So don’t miss it!

 

PS-  We have dedicated ourselves to helping professional women like you and want to make as BIG an impact as we can, and we can’t do it alone!  We want to make sure ALL female leaders have access to this information.  So, we ask that if you know of anyone else who would benefit from this call, please refer them and invite them to join us.

http://www.mycoachingculture.com/wordpress/

Your child’s success: How are you standing in the way?

We have recently been reading article after article on the trials and tribulations of ‘helicopter parents’- how we as parents don’t even know we are doing it and how it is NOT serving our kids well.

Here are but a few of such articles: 

Have  American Parents Got It All Backwards?

Hover No More: Helicopter Parents May Breed Depression and Incompetence in Their Children

A Loss Of Perspective: The Perils Of Parenting

How Helicopter Parents Can Ruin Kids’ Job Prospects 

‘Helicopter Parents’ Cause Long Term Issues 

You get the gist..

As parents we all want what is best for our kids.  We want to give them everything and of course we approach it with best intentions – yet at what cost? We are learning it is our children who end up suffering, both as young adults and as leaders, as parents fulfill their own needs rather than meeting the needs of their kids.

So how do you know if you are a helicopter parent?

You can check out the 4 Signs You Might Be a ‘Helicopter Parent’ — And How You Can Stop here

(Notice how the solutions offered are focused around communication and relationship building)

One thing that comes through loud and clear in all these articles is the importance of supporting struggle, frustration and failure in our kids at any age. It builds resilience.  When we protect our kids from failure they don’t learn.  When we constantly “fix” and “solve” our kids problems they don’t experience struggle, frustration or failure – a.k.a they don’t learn how to fix their own problems and they don’t have the opportunity to develop confidence in problem solving.

When we constantly tell our kids what to do and how to do it, how are we supporting or nourishing their ability to problem solve, make choices, be independent, rise to and experience challenges, learn, think independently, understand their needs, or connect with the others?  How can we expect them to find jobs, lead teams, accomplish goals, or have ambition?

Then when they don’t match or exceed our expectation we blame them, shame them and even judge them for it.  As parents we need to change how we show up for our kids.

Being involved in our kids’ lives is important.  However, what we do is no longer as important as HOW we do it.

What would it be like for parents to take a step back and support our children to be independent, competent and connected?

What would it be like to trust our children and their ability to make decisions that will work for them?

What would it be like to be curious about your child, inviting them to be apart of the decision-making process, or have them lead the problem solving process, making them accountable for its success?

What would it be like to be open to doing something differently?  Perhaps you could approach something from your child’s perspective and see what you can all learn from their perspective.

What would it be like to connect with your child?  To truly see, hear and understand who they are and where they are at.  And what would that be like for them?

We invite parents to stop, take a breath, and take a step back – even those parents who believe they are not ‘helicopter parents’.   So many of us have helicopter tendencies wanting to keep our kids hurt free, tantrum free, happy and successful.  Parents, it is time to get real.   In the next week we challenge you to bring your awareness to your parenting style.   Be a curious observer of yourself and keep track of:

  • How often do you let your kids struggle, feel frustrated or fail?   What is that like for you?
  •  How often do you find yourself fixing, solving and telling your kids what to do?  How come?
  • Finally, when using the strategies above what do you notice about your relationship?  How does it make you feel?  What about your kid?

Curious to know more? Check out our Parenting Challenge and how to support your child

 

Share with us your craziest ‘helicopter parent’ experience.. You know we have all had at least one!

Discover The Secret of GREAT Leadership

Wow! What a crazy last few days!  We have had LOTS of interest in our new program HOW TO BE SEEN, HEARD AND UNDERSTOOD – thank you!   AND we learned that we made mistakes – oops!  We learned that for those of you who tried to buy our program over the weekend you were unable to!  That’s NO GOOD.

We have worked hard to fix the areas that weren’t working AND have extended the offer another day (end of day Tues) to allow all of those who tried to buy the program a chance to get in at our special rate.

We  also learned that as this is our first program people are hesitant of how the modules will be delivered – what they will look like, what’s in them etc.  We understand and to be honest, hesitation is good!  It means you are stepping outside of your comfort zone and trying something new.  This is where we challenge ourselves and great things happen!

We are proud of our content, trust its value AND we want to make this as EASY and painless for you as possible, so…   we are going to give you FREE access to the Listening Module.  This is where you are going to discover the secret of GREAT leadership.  Leaders AND parents love this one!

Thanks for your patience with us as we navigate through this new territory and we can’t wait for you to check out our listening video.  Let us know what you think…

INSTANT ACCESS TO YOUR FREE LISTENING VIDEO