Know Your Values, Know Yourself

Hello and Happy New Year!images

We have listened to your feedback for which we are extremely grateful and have set about redesigning our website so that it is even more user-friendly.  We are updating our class offerings as well so stay tuned for our new launch.

In the meantime we decided we focused a great deal of last year on the notion of seeing, hearing and understanding others when emotions do not come into play.  This year we want to play with that next step, when we are in a conversation that we know will be challenging or one that becomes challenging as we listen to and explore to understand.

If this resonates with you, we would love to hear from you.  In the meantime, let’s start the conversation about those challenging, emotionally filled conversations where things are said that we wish we could take back and emotions acted on that lead to regrets, thoughts of ‘if only I had’.

The first step in this conversation is the notion of self-awareness, our understanding of who we are.  Learning about our own personal values helps us become more aware of who we are.  Self awareness is considered the foundation of emotional intelligence, that ability to understand and manage our emotions in a way that ensures we can build relationships with others.

One of the fundamentals of self-awareness is the notion of values.  We all have a set of personal values, those non-negotiable qualities that make us who we are.  If we can better understand our values, we can understand and appreciate who we are, and what we want.  Learning to recognize and understand our values helps us become more aware of who we are, what we want, and what makes sense to us as individuals.  Our values also help us have a greater understanding of what fills us up and nourishes us as well as what depletes us, making us feel like we aren’t enough.

We have found the concept of values to be an interesting one and one that is interpreted differently by many people.  We think of values (sometimes called personal values or core values) as being typically described as those attributes that keep us grounded as individuals.  When we feel our own values being pushed or judged, we tend to become emotional and when we use them too much as our guide they can be overused causing us to perhaps over react or shut down and this also does not serve us well.  In a conversation that becomes difficult and emotional, typically it is that feeling that one of our values has been slighted that takes us to a place where our emotions get the better of us and we are unsure as to why this has happened.   We will delve deeper into this in a later blog.

Learning what our top five values are helps us to understand what makes us tick, what we need to ensure our life feels fulfilling.  When we are living by our values, we typically feel in harmony or alignment with the world around us.

We invite you to ‘google’ different lists of values and from one of these lists pick the top 5-7 that resonate with you.  Once you have identified these ‘top 5-7’, create a definition for each one that holds meaning for you as you are the only one who will be exploring this list.  Next we invite you to rate your values 1-5 or 1-7.  Over the next 10 days we invite you to revisit your list to see if your ratings still hold true.  If not, change the ratings and continue to do this until you are satisfied your values with their definitions are rated in a way that resonates for you.  Now shorten your list to 5.  These are your personal values, those qualities that hold meaning for you.

Questions:

Once you have identified your personal values complete with definitions that hold meaning for you, reflect on:

  1.  Once you have identified your personal values complete with definitions that hold meaning for you, reflect on:
    1. Which of these values do you feel you are incorporating into your life now?
    2. How do you know you are ‘living these values’?
    3. What changes can you make to create space to honour all 5 of your values?
  2. When in relationship with your family, partner or team, how aligned are you to your own values?  What can you do to ensure you hold space for your personal values while honouring the individual values of others AND any that have been identified by the team, family or other group?