BE about it – How To Communicate in the 21st Century

As summer approaches and we reflect on what we have done this past year, where we have come and where we want to go, “Don’t just talk about it, BE about it” is our motto.

This has been an interesting year full of learning for us.  We are thrilled to say our book is progressing and we can’t wait to share it with you.  As two non-writers, it has been such an interesting process for us.  Over the years, we have enjoyed the many brilliant communication books that “talk about it”, we are eager and excited to share with you our book that contain the tools so you can “BE about it”.

In the next few months in celebration of our book and our Coaching CultureTM  communication model, we are going to change-up our blog a bit and try something new.  As our world is changing and we are shifting from the Industrial Era to the Knowledge Era, the tools and approach we once thought we needed (telling, judgement, right/ wrong) are no longer serving us well as leaders in our lives, our language has changed.   We want to bring our workshops to you and open up to our community going direct to the source giving you the exact tools you need now so you can stop talking about it and start being about it – speaking the language of the 21st century.  So, each month we are going to break down a step in our Coaching CultureTM communication model and then discuss it for the month, giving you practical tools to BE about it.  We have learned over the years the power of sharing experiences in our workshops and groups – so many of us struggle with the same issues and can relate to each other through our struggles.  The learning that comes from them is powerful, collaborative, and can be life changing.

We want to hear from you.  Share with us where your struggles and challenges lie.  And like a workshop, as a community we can discuss and explore, collaborate and challenge each other while being supported, giving you the tools you need to be who you want to be, today.

Having trouble communicating with your boss or coworker at work?  How is that affecting the way you are showing up to work or doing your job? 

Feel like your kids or spouse never listen to you?   What role do you play in shaping your family’s culture?

How effectively are you building your relationships?  How is that affecting your business, your clients, or your personal life?

Are you surrounded by tellers?  Or are you a teller?  How is that impacting your work, your relationships, how you make your decisions?

Feel like all your conversations are confrontational?  How is that serving you?

 

We want to know what’s getting in the way of your success, what’s working well and contributing to your success, and what you are talking about yet aren’t BEING about?

Here are a few of the topics we are going to cover:

Listening

Telling

Values/ Assumptions,

Asking questions

Reframing

Challenging conversations

 

“If you want something you’ve never had, then you’ve got to do something you’ve never done.”

 

Join us as we embark on something new.  We want to stop talking about it and globally BE about it.

 

Please email us direct Kirsten@coachingculture.ca.   Your privacy is important to us.  Nothing will be shared publicly without your permission.

 

 

Summer Loving – How to make the most of it

Summer is around the corner which means our kids are out of school with LOTS of free time on their hands.  Summer is the time of holidays, less structure in one’s life, hence more freedom to explore, reflect and relax.

As parents, how do we support our children in experiencing that sense of freedom, exploring the world around them?  When we were children, we can both remember the freedom of structure that summer represented, that sense of relaxation where we could maybe learn a new skill – sailing comes to mind for us – or spend more time with our parents and just be able to play without the structured learning environment, known as school.

What is the summer experience we want for our kids and more importantly what is the summer experience our children want?  How can we find out what the summer means to them, what they look forward to (or not) around life without school and its structure, learning and socializing with classmates?

The world has changed since even Kirsten was a child in ways that make summer experiences much different.  There are many more opportunities offered for structured learning, and it feels like fewer opportunities for summer holidays or camp or the level of freedom experienced by other generations.  The world is very different for the children of today and as parents we cannot assume to understand what our kids want or expect from a summer experience.   Parents can no longer expect to provide their children with the same summer experiences they had (unless there is a tradition such as a family cottage, camping on the same lake etc) as a child.

We would invite you as a parent to become really curious and open as to what your children expect or want for a summer experience.  Perhaps you work and your children will be with a child care provider during the day, 5 days a week.  How can you keep the magic of summer alive for all of you?  What can you do to ensure your children have an experience that holds meaning for them during the warm summer months?

Asking curious open questions that being with how, what, where, when (and why sparingly) gives your children the opportunity to voice their opinions, their desires.  Through an open discussion you can work to really see and hear them so they feel they have been understood.  Together you can develop a plan so they can have an experience this summer that holds meaning for them and provides them with that sense of excitement summer brought for you when you were growing up.

We invite you to have that conversation with your children, develop a plan and hold each other accountable to ensure you all have a memorable experience this summer.

How you can manage stress by changing perceptions

At Coaching Culture we talk a lot about perspectives.  We believe everyone has their own perspective on any issue and if we are all

Image via The Pursuit of Happiness

curious and open to listening to others, we can better understand their perspectives on everything.  We also talk about understanding our own perspective on anything and the notion that we can reframe our perspective if we feel it is not serving us.

In the Vancouver Sun, 31 May, 2012, Abra­ham Lin­coln BY TOM HILL Spe­cial to The Sun wrote an article entitled:  “Man­age stress by chang­ing per­cep­tions in which he discusses the ideas of Dr Ken Nedd, an Internationally renowned speaker.  “Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be” is a quote of Dr Ken Nedd.  He believes that we can manage the stress in our lives by changing our perception of what we think causes our stress such as being caught in traffic, managing our time, having a challenging conversation with our boss.  I found this very interesting and started to think about how we can use reframing to help us change our perceptions of issues that we think may be causing stress for us.  If we can reframe how we perceive these experiences, it follows, we can decrease the stress we perceive we are experiencing.

When we think of the impact stress has on our lives, being able to minimize our perception of stress could be very powerful.  If we can reframe our perception of a situation we can then decrease our perceived stress and perhaps even increase our sense of happiness.

I began to reflect on this and think about situations that can cause me to experience stress.  I find being stuck in traffic to be very stressful as I am in my car which means I want to travel from A to B and if I am stuck in traffic I am not achieving this.  How can I reframe this situation?  I began to think about how else I could look at this experience and I realized that I could think of this as an opportunity to be quiet, still, listen to my favourite music and relax.  If I could achieve this, I could feel more relaxed when I finally arrive at my destination.   I find I try to achieve too much in a day.  I wake up full of energy with plans to complete a very long ‘to do’ list.  At the end of the day, I am sometimes disappointed as I have not accomplished everything on my list, hence I have jump to a perception of not managing my time well and thus not been successful in my day.  How could I reframe this?  I decided that I can change from that perception of scarcity, focusing on what I have NOT accomplished to a perception of celebrating what I have accomplished during the day.  This removes the sense of stress for me and helps me feel successful, really good about what I have completed.

We would invite you to think about your perceptions of situations where you feel stress creeping into your experience.  How can you reframe this perception so that you move to a place of abundance, one that holds no space for stress?  How will this technique help you to feel more successful, abundant and less stressful about your day-to-day life?  How happy can you be?