This is a real conversation that we overheard between a young daughter and father walking the seawall and felt compelled to share with you:
10-12 year old daughter: “Daddy, why do you have to be so judgemental?”
Dad: “Because it makes me feel better.”
Daughter: “How can putting someone else down make you feel better?”
Dad: “It just does. If I make someone else look diminished, it makes me feel more important.”
Daughter: “How do you think the other person feels when you make them feel diminished?”
Dad: “I don’t care because I feel better.”
Daughter: “I don’t understand.”
This little girl of 10-12 was wise beyond her years and was so curious, asking her dad open questions to try to better understand why he said things she did not understand.
Think back to when you judged another for what they said, were doing, were wearing etc. What were you really doing? How do you think your judging comments made the person feel? How did your behaviour/comments make you feel and what were the REAL reasons you were doing it?
For us, building relationships means nourishing others and thereby nourishing ourselves. We wonder how diminishing others through judging helps to nourish anyone?
We invite you to reflect on how judging makes you feel and what you can do differently so you end up feeling you are nourished and have nourished others.